I reminded myself that in order to get to where I wanted to be, I needed to continue on and make sacrifices, trusting that this would pay off in the end even if it didn’t happen exactly as I thought it would. I saw where I was headed and knew what my ambitions were – work remotely, full-time, doing something I love. I took a step outside myself and tried my best to look into my future. I got to a point where I just had to stop and seriously think about what was going on in my life. Thankfully, this was all (or at least most of it. This hindered my growth more than anything ever has. I was panic-ridden and things were seriously out-of-perspective. One more delay, question, mistake and I was over. I had such little self-confidence in my abilities and compared myself to others on my team to the point where I was certain I’d be fired at any moment. Long story short(ish), I got to a point where I was ready to quit. I got this,” I nervously encouraged myself. I walked out into a muggy, sunlit living room and turned on the air conditioner, hoping it would cool down enough so my sweaty forehead wouldn’t be visible on video. As I stood in a steam cloud with pins and needles tingling my left arm reminding me just how early it was, I thought, “Am I always going to have to do this?” 10 minutes later I climbed into my dress pants, buttoned my shirt, and hooked the little metal clip to the fastener on the bowtie around my neck. I clumsily pulled back the shower curtain and was welcomed by the squeak of the shower faucet handle. Blinded by the sudden, violent beams of the bathroom light, I was forced to squint one eye like you do when looking at something up close. Are you always going to have to get up this early?”, my wife groaned as I slinked out of bed, silenced my alarm, and shuffled over to the bathroom.
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